Editorâ€™s Note: This is a very beautiful essay on the importance of affection for mothers, written by a young lady from Dearborn, Michigan.
By Zahra Hamka of Young Ladies Guidance Class Student at the Islamic Institute of Knowledge
Relationships are crucial in developing a healthy life. We find that our relationships with the people around us give us an insight into our future. This is especially the case with the relationship with our mothers. If we cannot recognize the love and mercy Allah (swt) has put between a mother and her child, we find that we cannot reach the zenith of our potential on our journey towards Reality. By being blind of what our mother gave up for us and what she gave us, we are buying a ticket to heedlessness and are actually being ignorant of this blessing. A relationship with the mother should be one where respect and obedience dominates through Allah (swt). If we can think of the way the Infallibles (as) treated their mothers, we are one step closer to attaining the heartâ€™s peace. We find that if a mother is not happy with the way her child is acting and is not accepting of his/her behavior, the childâ€™s life will not be filled with the blessings that guide us to the heartâ€™s security. A story narrates that a man was on his death bed and he was asked to say the shahada. He could not say it and the Prophet (s) came to see why the man could not say it. He brought the manâ€™s mother and asked her to be happy and content with her son. She ended up accepting her son and thereafter, the man was able to say the shahada. Consider the weight a mother holds in our future. Why donâ€™t we ever thank our mothers for what she has done? Only when we are able to lower the wing of self-denial can we firmly root our feet on the path towards righteousness.
What disrespect and disobedience amounts to when it comes to the way we act with our mothers is a life full of trials and tribulations. The Prophet (s) says â€œYour Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.â€ If we do injustice to them we are bringing down our own fate. If we constantly remember Allahâ€™s blessing and constantly thank our mothers for what she has done, we will truly understand the weight a mother holds. At times, misunderstandings may occur that cause us to get angry and become impatient towards our mothers, but we must remember that this is a trial for us. Allah (swt) says â€œAnd your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) â€œUghâ€ nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word.â€ (Al-Isra:23)
What this tells us is to honor them and respect them at all times. How can we become upset after showing disrespect and anger to one of our friends and yet feel nothing when it comes to our mother? We should use the mercy and love Allah (swt) placed between a mother and her child in our lives as a way to excel, not remain stagnant on our journey. When we honor our parents we will have a feeling of purity in our hearts which we can use to get closer to Allah (swt). We will find that things come easier because we have their approval and that things will be more fulfilling.
Insha`Allah Allah (swt) will guide us to reach such a level of respect towards our parents. If we monitor our actions, and sincerely want to reach this level, Allah (swt) will guide us. Asking forgiveness from Allah (swt) is not the only thing we should do to purify our hearts. In addition to it, we should ask forgiveness from our parents. Itâ€™s when we are able to ask forgiveness from our parents for our injustice towards them will we be able to lower our ego and establish a pure relationship.
â€œAnd make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was) little.â€ Al-Isra:24