By Aslam Abdullah, TMO Editor-in-Chief

Living together before marriage is generally accepted as a normal practice in the USA and Europe. Pre-marital sex in the USA and European societies has become a norm and even though adultery is illegal in 23 states in the USA, since 1983 no one has been punished while some 60 percent men and 42 per cent women reportedly commit acts of adultery in the country. In those states where adultery is still on the statute books, penalties vary from life sentence in Michigan to a $10 fine in Maryland to a Class B misdemeanor in New York to a Class I felony in Wisconsin and to a fine of $500 in South Carolina.  

Islam advocates celibacy before marriage and defines pre-marital and extra-marital relations as greater sins and proposes strong penalties.The Quran says, “Nor come closer to illicit sexual intimacy (zina) for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the door (to other evils).” 17:32

Yet many in the Muslim community living in Europe and the USA and elsewhere cannot claim to be strict followers of their faith.  A good number of single men and women as well as married couples, mostly men, seem to be involved in pre-marital or extra-marital relations. There is no sociological study to substantiate the statistics, yet there are reports based on independent research of many journalists and social scientists that suggest incidents of pre-marital sex among Muslim men far exceed the incidents of similar behavior among Muslim women. By and large, Muslims avoid discussion on this subject often living under the assumption that their community is free from these acts.  Few would dare any write up and those who do would generally be looked down upon.
Yet it is an issue that one has to face especially when it impacts the image of Islam and the health of the community. There are many disgruntled women, mostly non-Muslims, who feel betrayed by their Muslim boyfriends after living together for several years and there are many Muslim women who out of fear and social pressure are not willing to admit the intimate nature of their relations with their boyfriends in secrecy. It is an issue that deserve to be addressed openly, fearlessly and seriously.

With sex and the discussion about sex everywhere, the Muslim community cannot claim to save itself from its impact. It cannot simply close its eyes and say that “it’s a non-Muslim problem.” It has to deliberate the issue and work to strengthen young men and women to stand their moral grounds no matter how tough the circumstance may be. Sex is a physical activity but it is born in the mind and ideas. But it is not a physical necessity (prior to developing authentic relations assuming their responsibility and consequences) without which a human cannot survive like food or water. So it is possible that if the mind is properly trained and the ideas are channelized into positive energy, people can control their sexual urges within a moral frame. But this would happen only when the discussion is open and objective.

It is one thing to say that God frowns upon those who indulge in illicit sexual relations, But it is another to study the causes of this life style and pragmatically take steps to channelize the sexual urges within an ethical framework for the good of all. 

Not many are willing to admit that pre-marital sex is common among single Muslim male students in various colleges and universities especially among those enrolled as foreign students. There are incidents of extra-marital relations among students who live without their spouses.

Among the male students, this happens in different ways. The boy either enters into a temporary marriage relationship with a non-Muslim girl for a specific period of time or maintains relationship in secrecy. In some cases, the boy even marries the girl in what he defines “Islamically”, without any legal contract or paper work. In this situation, the couple approaches either an Imam or anyone they trust to conduct marriage Islamically. The marriage is not recorded under the assumptions that God is the greatest witness along with two other male witnesses. Such marriage are also solicited by married men. The women are generally non-Muslims and they are told that at a later time when it is appropriate the husband would divorce his first wife.

Temporary hookups through chat sites and dating agencies are also not uncommon among Muslim singles and married men. Usually, Muslim men and women come to these chat sites with non-Muslim names regardless of the region they live in and slowly and gradually they reveal true identify once the possibility physical hookup become a reality. Usually, Muslims would avoid entering into these kinds of hookups with fellow Muslims of opposite or same gender, yet, these unions are not rare.

Single Muslim men often start facing the trouble, when their partner wants to declare their relations open. Most of the time such single Muslim men, who are not serious do not introduce their girlfriends to their Muslim circles. However, when girlfriends ask for declaring these relationship in open, they refuse and offer religious explanations admitting that they were wrong in maintaining these relations. This either terminates the relationship or assume different dimensions.

Ironically, many non-Muslim women take these relationship seriously and some try to familiarize them with Islam or even considering to become Muslims. Single Muslim men often avoid discussions about marriage under the plea that either they are not ready or their families are not. In this situation, the couple usually breaks up.

So what needs to happen to address the situation? First of all, Muslim social scientists and leaders should acknowledge that the issue is real and take it seriously and conduct objective studies to assess the true dimensions of this issue. Simultaneously, we should also develop a curriculum that addresses the issue of relationship between boys and girls and men and women sociologically and pragmatically. The basic guidelines on this issue are given in the Quran explicitly, but often we, the believers, have failed to transmit this basic message in a manner that would empower individuals to take control of their lives. This should happen from an early age because in public or private schools and in circles of their peers they are exposed to sex-related issues at a very tender age.

While, we Muslims, generally, leave it to an individual to navigate his or her way through the maze of information on sex, others offer structured courses on the subject to students as young as nine or ten. By the time, we intervene on behalf of our religion, the children are already exposed to information far better and tempting than the one offered by us. In fact, intervention at this time becomes counter productive as it leads to stealth sexuality that no one would want to admit to one’s elders or one self. The situation often becomes explosive when the girl gets pregnant. This either results in the termination of pregnancy or sending the girl away from her circle. Very rarely, a Muslim girl uses DNA to determine the paternity to receive child support as this would violate the honor of the family. Often, the girl is punished while the sin of boy is generally ignored. In situation the boy often abandons the girl assuming that the secret would never come out . But with non-Muslim girls the situation is different. So, it is important that we begin the process of education at an early state. We have to decide when it would be appropriate to introduce such subjects to students.

Only when one would have a strong foundations in a life style guided by the divine teachings, one can hope to reduce such incidents in real relationship. The solution lies in empowering individuals with a knowledge that would inspire them to be responsible and disciplined in every aspect of life. Where self-control would be an assertive way of life and where the relationship would not be used to serve feelings of self-indulgence. It is possible to control sexual urges but it would not come through condemning sexuality but giving it a positive spin within a moral framework that is useful for everyone. Humans are their best supervisors and controllers, but we have to be empowered with the knowledge that would strengthen those aspects of our character inwardly.

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By Robert Scheer

Finally, Barack Obama may prove deserving of his Nobel Peace Prize by joining with England, France, China, Russia and Germany in negotiating an eminently sensible rapprochement with Iran on its nuclear program. Following on his pullback from war with Syria and instead, successfully negotiating the destruction of that country’s supply of chemical weapons, this is another bold step to fulfill the peacemaking promise that got him elected president in the first place.

As Obama reminded his audience at an event Monday in San Francisco, he was fulfilling the pledge from his first campaign to usher in a “new era of American leadership, one that turned the page on a decade of war.” As a candidate in 2007, he committed to engage in “aggressive personal diplomacy” with Iran’s leaders, and he has now done just that.

This is potentially an international game changer comparable to Richard Nixon’s opening to Mao’s Red China and Ronald Reagan’s overtures to Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, two examples of heroic diplomacy that combined to destroy the underpinnings of the Cold War. Those who continually call for regime change in Iran as a condition for improved relations with that country, as Obama’s critics are now doing, ignore that history.

It is also true that the religious leaders of Iran came to power after a previous U.S. effort at regime change—replacing a democratic secular leader with the despotic shah—failed miserably. The Israelis who are now giving Obama such a difficult time on dealing with Iran might also adopt some humility, since it was their Mossad spies who helped train the shah’s agents in the fine art of prisoner interrogation. Yesterday’s prisoners sometimes end up today’s negotiators.

Evidently, this has also been a casebook study in diplomacy pursued for years at the president’s insistence with much international cooperation and at the highest level of effectiveness. But instead of celebrating the president’s returning to his original promise as peacemaker, the warmongers of both parties in Congress, egged on by the unholy alliance of Saudi Arabia and Israel, are crying foul. Their outrage is an affront to morality and logic, as well as a stark betrayal of a legitimate public concern over the proliferation of nuclear weapons.

Obama’s critics clearly prefer the murky unknown of rank speculation to the reality check of on-site inspection when it comes to preventing nuclear proliferation. How can it be a bad thing to call Iran’s bluff—if that’s what it is—on its nuclear program being designed for peaceful purposes?

The interim agreement releases a scant $4.2 billion in oil revenue, while still freezing an additional $30 billion over the next six months, in exchange for the imposition of enrichment limits verified by much improved inspections, daily U.N. checks of enrichment facilities, stopping work at the Arak heavy-water plant and other means of establishing transparency to which both sides have agreed.

Are American hawks and their counterparts in Israel and Saudi Arabia afraid that transparency will deny the U.S. a justification for invading Iran, as it did previously with Iraq, and more recently Syria? Is the prospect of a meaningful peace all that threatening? Or are the hard-liners who run Israel afraid that their own nuclear program might come under more intense international scrutiny if the spotlight is off Iran?

In that case, the push would be on to make the entire region an enforceable nuclear-weapon-free zone, but that would put Israel’s WMD program under the microscope. No informed observer believes that Israel has made good on its oft-repeated pledge not to be the first nation to introduce nuclear weapons in the region. Israel is well known to have many actual nuclear weapons and not merely a uranium enrichment program. The Pentagon estimated that Israel had 80 nuclear weapons in 2002, as well as a robust delivery system of missiles, airplanes and even sea-based launchers. Of course, we won’t know the truth about Israel’s WMDs until U.N. inspectors are permitted on the ground.

That won’t happen anytime soon, because Israel has worked itself into a self-righteous corner of unaccountability that does not bode well in a rapidly changing world. It is now in the morally odd position as the self-proclaimed sole democracy in the region of joining Saudi Arabia in backing a military junta in Egypt that snuffed out that most populous Arab country’s political spring. Once a backer of Syria’s minority religious-based government “as the enemy we know,” Israel again sides with the Saudis in backing an Islamic rebel coalition heavily infiltrated by al-Qaida.

But oddest of all is Israel’s currently partnering with Saudi Arabia in stoking a regional Sunni war against the Shiites led by Iran, as if taking that side in deepening the region’s religious wars is somehow good for the Jews. It isn’t, and Obama’s words of caution to critics of the Iran nuclear deal apply to those in Israel as well as in America: “Tough talk and bluster may be the easy thing to do politically, but it’s not the right thing to do for our security.” He’s back.

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By Karin Friedemann, TMO

Despite bitter cold, hundreds of people attended the National Day of Mourning in Plymouth, MA on November 28 to recall the genocide experienced by America’s native population at the hands of the settlers known as the Pilgrims. This year’s memorial event, organized by the United American Indians of New England (UAINE), started with the burning of sage and a prayer, followed by speeches given by Native American spokespersons that included prayers for the people of Afghanistan, Pakistan, Palestine, and all victims of racist expansionism.

The real story of the First Thanksgiving was related, in which the Governor John Winthrop of Massachusetts Bay Colony declared: “A day of Thanksgiving, thanking God that they had eliminated over 700 men, women and children… This day forth shall be a day of celebration and thanksgiving for subduing the Pequots.”

Dutch and English Christian settlers had set on fire the homes of sleeping families:

“Those that escaped from the fire were slain with the sword; some hewed to pieces, others run threw with their rapiers [swords]….It was a fearful sight to see them thus frying in the fire, and the streams of blood quenching the same,” Puritan William Bradford described.

“The surviving Pequots were hunted but could make little haste because of their children. They were literally ‘run to ground…tramped into the mud and buried in the swamp.”

Iman Hussain, a 7th grader who attended the Day of Mourning, told TMO, “I was surprised to find out that what I had learned in school about the happy Thanksgiving holiday wasn’t true.”

A statement from long-term political prisoner Leonard Peltier addressing the National Day of Mourning was read aloud. He implored listeners to “make a vow to renew our efforts, renew our minds, renew our directions to take back our water take back our air take back our forests and our mountains and valleys, restore this mother earth to the natural balance the Creator meant it to be. We need to talk to the churches, talk to the various religions, we need to get them to recognize that the strongest form of worship isn’t singing songs and bowing your head, the strongest form of worship is to respect and restore to balance the beauty of nature and the earth that was given to us, that is part of us, that we are a part of, and to be responsible for… All evil needs to triumph is for good people to do nothing.”

“…As some of you may know the Constitution is a copy of the Iroquois 6 nations Confederacy law. The constitution originally was designed so that men would have maximum freedoms as long as they did not infringe on the natural rights of others or in essence harm someone else. The freedoms and respect that the law implies that we should have for one another in this nation should extend to all those outside of this realm because what is right for one man should be right for others.”

Of particular importance in this year’s event was an urgent call to action by the Idle No More movement in Canada, which “seeks to assert Indigenous inherent rights to sovereignty and reinstitute traditional laws and Nation to Nation Treaties by protecting the lands and waters from corporate destruction.” Native American tribes and environmentalist protesters are currently involved in a standoff with the Canadian government, blocking a highway in an effort to stop fracking (gas and oil drilling). The water has already been made undrinkable in several regions in both Canada and the United States due to contamination caused by fracking.

The crowd marched peacefully through Plymouth’s downtown, past Plymouth Rock, and ended with a prayer at the site of a plaque commemorating Metacomet (King Phillip) that reads:

“After the Pilgrims’ arrival, Native Americans in New England grew increasingly frustrated with the English settlers’ abuse and treachery. Metacomet (King Philip), a son of the Wampanoag sachem known as the Massasoit (Ousameqin), called upon all Native people to unite to defend their homelands against encroachment. The resulting “King Philip’s War” lasted from 1675-1676. Metacomet was murdered in Rhode Island in August 1676, and his body was mutilated. His head was impaled on a pike and was displayed near this site for more than 20 years. One hand was sent to Boston, the other to England. Metacomet’s wife and son, along with the families of many of the Native American combatants, were sold into slavery in the West Indies by the English victors.”

Hundreds of people of all races in good cheer filled the social rooms of two nearby historical churches, beyond capacity, and enjoyed a delicious turkey dinner provided by UAINE, who insisted that families with children, the elderly, and the handicapped be seated first. Anyone who wanted was given bread, fruit, and turkey leftovers to take home after the feast.

“Instead of celebrating a past that never happened, I think it’s a great idea to create a future where we actually get to meet real American Indians, eat with them and listen to their stories every Thanksgiving. From now on, my family will come to the National Day of Mourning every year,” said a man who attended for the first time.

In 1970, UAINE protesters painted the Plymouth Rock red, climbed up the mast of the replica of the Mayflower Ship, ripped down the British flag and replaced it with the flag of the American Indian Movement. After decades of confrontations with the police, the town of Plymouth compromised with the UAINE by erecting a statue of Massasoit, the 17th Century leader of the Wampanoag Confederacy on Cole’s Hill, which was used as a burial ground during the settler’s first winter in New England in 1620-21. The plaque, which was erected by the Town of Plymouth on behalf of the United American Indians of New England reads:

“Since 1970, Native Americans have gathered at noon on Cole’s Hill in Plymouth to commemorate a National Day of Mourning on the US Thanksgiving holiday. Many Native Americans do not celebrate the arrival of the Pilgrims and other European settlers. To them, Thanksgiving Day is a reminder of the genocide of millions of their people, the theft of their lands, and the relentless assault on their culture. Participants in National Day of Mourning honor Native ancestors and the struggles of Native peoples to survive today. It is a day of remembrance and spiritual connection as well as a protest of the racism and oppression which Native Americans continue to experience.”

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76 Movies Nominated For Best Foreign Film Oscar–first submission by Saudi Arabia ever

By Almas Akhtar, TMO

It’s a new record in Oscar history when 76 foreign movies from all over the world are submitted to be nominated for Best Foreign Language Film. Saudi Arabia has submitted a movie named “Wadja” for the first time ever. This movie, by Haifaa al-Mansour, is a movie about a young girl’s quest to own a bicycle in the super conservative Muslim kingdom where women are deprived of many rights, for example driving cars which they are prohibited from doing in Saudi Arabia.

The film was directed by Saudi Arabia’s first female filmmaker, Haaifa Al Mansour. The entire movie was shot in the country, the film won best Arabic feature award at the Dubai Film Festival last year, and also picked up an award at the Cannes Film Festival in March.

The Academy for Motion Picture Art and Sciences will announce the list of films nominated for “Best Foreign Language Oscar “ in mid-January, 2014.

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By Laura Fawaz, TMO

Dr. Parvaiz Malik is associated with many different attributes; entrepreneur, surgeon, world traveler, a father, a husband, role model, and disaster relief volunteer.

Dr. Malik, who is a Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeon in New Jersey, was also the one who had a major hand in the creation of various medical relief organizations.  As of last August, he was President of FIMA, the Federation of Islamic Medical Associations.  Dr. Malik is now the Executive Director of the organization.  He is also the Past-President and current Vice President of IMANA, Islamic Medical Association of North America.  He is the lead surgeon for their organization, performing Cleft Lip and Palate surgeries.  From here, began a few more organizations, targeting other health specific needs.  First though, let’s start with where Dr. Malik began. 

He started his life and medical education and Karachi, Pakistan.  This later took him to Canada for further education, New York for training, California to begin his career, and then New Jersey where he settled with his family so that his kids could receive a best education they could.  By this time, Dr. Malik had been a practicing surgeon for four years, but still wanted to do more.  “I have a passion to take care of children and adults with clef lip, and to help in any way I can,” Dr. Malik says.

His inspiration derives from this being his passion; he loves what he does.  So much so that he helped to start several braches under FIMA.  FIMA connects 43 different organizations across several Muslim countries / communities, the first being IMANA.  From there began IMANA saves smiles, helping with clef lip surgeries.  Next was FIMA saves vision, helping in corrective vision for kids born with cataracts.  The most recent branch of FIMA is FIMA saves dignity, helping with teenage pregnancies in Sudan and Pakistan, and the internal injuries that are caused during labor.

From this, he went to Sudan in 2010 with a four-person team on a camp mission to perform surgeries on children and adults with clef lips.  On these missions, each member pays their own way, and each doctor pays for his / her own supplies.  But this hasn’t deterred the mission because almost four quick years later, the team in growing with 35 volunteers set to go in March of 2014.  Dr. Malik invites any willing volunteers, not only doctors, as there is always need for more volunteers.  One volunteer that joined the 2013 camp was an attorney who offered any bit that she could, even volunteered to wash the floors, according to Dr. Malik.  But she ended up being a big asset to the mission as she was used as the main translator.

Going on the 6th year of these projects, the team combined has preformed over 98,000 surgeries.  And if all this weren’t enough, he also is a disaster responder when circuses happen, such as the tsunami in Indonesia or the earthquake that hit Haiti.  “I am very thankful for these opportunities, and I think that this [help those in need] is something that Allah (SWT) directed us to do in His way,” says Dr. Malik.

Dr. Malik is also the proud father of two sons and daughter, one whom joined him on the disaster relief missions to Pakistan and Haiti.  His growing family recently included a grandson.

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