Through My Lens–On the Horrible News of a Young Person’s Wedding

Muslim Matters

Through My Lens–On the Horrible News of a Young Person’s Wedding

By Nadirah Angail

Note: This was originally written in 2007, shortly after I got married.


On behalf of everyone that got married before the age of 25:

I think the Chinese brought in 2007 as the year of the pig. I took the liberty of changing its name to The Year of the Wedding. So many young believers I know made it official that year; and while I think it’s a blessing that so many of us have been able to make spiritually responsible choices and not use our age as an excuse, others feel compelled to both warn and discourage us because of our apparently unpopular decisions. Now, I understand and appreciate the concern, because I know marriage is a big step. However, there’s no need to look disgusted and/or surprised when you hear of an upcoming wedding. And there’s definitely no need to make annoying comments such as:

-Why so young?

-Oh, I hope that works out for you. (Usually said in a voice that let’s you know they’re really thinking “What a dummy!”).

-What for? Are you pregnant?

-But, you’re so young. Don’t you want to date other people?

– Girl, don’t do it! (Often said by broken-hearted women who have given up hope on men).

-I wouldn’t do it, but that’s good for you. (Again, said in a voice that let’s you know they disapprove.)

Ok, so I’m aware that the divorce rate is somewhere around 50 percent—and that even ultra-patient, civil rights activist Nelson Mandela couldn’t make it work—but I’m also aware that we live in an anything-goes society that applauds immorality and tries its hardest to get us off the straight and narrow. They want us, women especially, to showcase our sin. The farther away we move from our natural selves, the more acclaim we receive. When we become wild and promiscuous, we are lauded for being “sexually liberated.” When we choose marriage over casual dating, we’re judged as being stifled by religious doctrine, brainwashed, and archaic. This popularized backwards thinking tells us that it’s ok if we live wild lives today and then settle down in our old age, but to establish something beautiful and God-approved in our youth is a bad, naive choice. Shaitan has definitely left his mark.

We were all born into submission, so its natural to want to please Him; but because the Rejected is good at what he does, so many of us have been convinced that sticking to our nature is old fashioned and downright oppressive. This world works double time to lure us into putting out our spiritual light in the name of youth, freedom, and independence. Never mind the fact that we will be asked on the Day of Judgment what we did with our youth. Never mind the fact that saying “I was just trying to be free and independent” will not be accepted as an excuse from the Most High. Never mind that the Fire’s fuel is men and stones.

If the state of American marriages is so bad (and I agree that it is) don’t discourage those of us that still see it as valuable and beautiful. Don’t discourage us from living up to a higher expectation. Instead, focus that energy on promoting healthy marriages and families. Take a stand against the billion-dollar industries that profit from persuading us that sex and sexiness are the answers to everything, that money is all that matters, and that cheating is a normal part of life. Those are the people you should be disgusted with, not those of us that are trying to live right in a world so wrong.

Nadirah Angail

“Empowering women-through knowledge, recognition & guidance”

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