Taming the Teenage Tigers

By MMNS Stringer

Bloomfield Hills, October19, 2007. The Unity Center of Bloomfield Hills held a very interesting session on a topic; “Raising Boys: Taming the Dragons, Power, conflict & love between teen age boys and family.”

The speaker was Mr. Ted Braude, a health psychologist, social worker and educationist who enjoys playing music and is a black belt in Aikido.

In his interactive session with parents he made the audience feel at ease. He often asked parents, and many came forward to tell their teenagers’ stories, about their problems with the boys in their family.

He said the media and video games are powerful forces for the children. Almost every parent complains about it. According to Braude, the constant watching of TV and playing of incessant video games provides gratification and is an outlet for their “boredom” and one of the main reasons for their boredom is their “fear”–fear of growing up, fear of family and fear at school.

Teach them social responsibilities, he said, as soon as you can, to lessen this problem. Some kids do this intentionally to get attention from their parents because it annoys them.

He said teenagers are agents of change, but quite often they are unable to convey you their change and that comes out of his behavior. Often it leads to power struggle between him and the parents, each pulling in opposite direction. Arguments help no one, on the contrary the arguments brings you down to the intellectual level of a teenage level. Mr. Ted Braude advises to remain calm, quite and not be provoked but try to understand him and his ways. Once if you see his direction and you talk in the same direction, and when both of you see a common point the struggle disappears. He demonstrated this in a very effective manner through his Marshall Art technique.

On drugs he said, children get involved in drugs due to multiple reasons but often it is a manifestation of depression. For him drug is an easy way to get out of it because it numbs his feelings although temporarily. The second reason is they like to “venture” and third is “exploration” but one very important other reason is, “Can I get away with it?” The boys like this most.

Love your kids, but give them social responsibilities, follow what you say, house rules must be observed, create a space between you and boys, this is especially true for mothers, were some of the pointers that he elaborated for creating a better understanding between teenage boys and parents.

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